Hermione in Wonderland Revisited
by flyairth
Summary: Yeah I see it's been done, but sometimes stories must be written. Another Hermione in Wonderland story. I can only hope it's different enough from the rest to be interesting. Beta'd by Khantael who is magnificent.
1. Chapter 1

**Hermione in Wonderland: Revisited**

Disclaimer: None of it's owned by me. It's owned by J K Rowling and Lewis Carroll respectively

**Down the Rabbit Hole**

Hermione Granger wasn't an especially selfish girl. All she really wanted was good friends and the respect and honor she worked so hard to deserve, so it irked her that Professor Snape only labeled her Polyjuice Potion as passable. Not only was the potion perfect, it wasn't the first time she had brewed a perfect potion that went unnoticed. She glanced over at Neville's concoction and grimaced. There were no other cauldrons in the room, including Snape's, which held a potion as perfect as hers.

Snape glanced at the perturbed girl. "Miss Granger, if you are quite done, please clean up and leave. There is nothing more for you to do here today."

Hermione quickly cleaned her cauldron and work area and stormed out of the classroom. She most definitely didn't want to spend any more time than needed in the presence of that awful man. She started up the stairs towards the Gryffindor dorms, grumbling as she went. She was so busy complaining about the unfairness in her life that she didn't notice that Peeves had exploded a water balloon at the top of the stairs. As she stepped up onto the top stair, her foot landed in the puddle left by the water balloon, and she went tumbling backward. Her last conscious thought was that it was a good thing she was going to die, because now she didn't have to worry about being sent to Azkaban for practicing Unforgivables on her Potions Professor.

Hermione woke up with a nasty headache. She was lying on something spongy, which was odd. It didn't feel like a bed of any sort, and it didn't feel like the floor at the bottom of the stairs either. She slowly lifted herself up on one elbow and opened her eyes. The bright light made her head throb more, so she closed them again. Using her hand as a shield, she slowly opened them again, giving them time to adjust to the abnormally bright light.

'The sun? How did I get outside?' Hermione stood up and proceeded to fall back down as a sharp pain ran through her head. 'Ouch, I must have hit my head pretty hard,' she thought as her hand encountered a large bump on the back of her head.

She slowly got to her feet and looked around. She appeared to be in a field somewhere. There were flowers everywhere, and a small hill with what appeared to be a rabbit hole but larger. Hermione was familiar with the lands around Hogwarts, but she couldn't remember ever seeing a field as vast as this one. It appeared to go on forever, and bright red flowers covered every inch of it. Hermione tried to remember the name of the flowers, and concluded they were, indeed, poppies. She looked around, feeling like she should see a sleeping lion or a rusting tin man, but the field was unoccupied except for her and the occasional buzzing bee.

'I wonder how I got here?' she mused as she surveyed the area. 'It could be Death Eaters, but why would they just leave me here?' Her thoughts were interrupted by a large crashing noise as something came barreling through the flowers, heading in her direction.

Hermione was getting nervous; while the flowers were only knee high, she couldn't tell what the object was. Try as she might, Hermione could not picture a creature that small that could move through a field of flowers that fast, while making that much noise. Nothing good, anyway - images of ankle biting field rats swirled through her imagination. She reached for her wand and realized it was gone. 'Great,' she thought, 'I must have lost it in the fall down the stairs.' While that fall hadn't killed her, it appeared it was just a short reprieve as she was going to be eaten alive any moment now. Glancing around for anything to use as a weapon, she was started as the creature burst out of the flowers near her. It, however, had better things to worry about than a lone girl in a field of poppies. It hurried past her, heading towards the hole in the hill.

"This is not happening," she groaned aloud. Running toward the hill was a mini-Draco, in full Death Eater regalia, looking at a pocket watch.

"I'm late, oh no, I'm late... Unforgivables, unforgivables… I'm late, I'm late, I'm late."

Hermione watched the mini-Draco jump through the hole, leaving her with the distinct impression that she had almost had her stories mixed up. 'Well, there's nothing for it now,' she thought, 'I'll have to follow him.' With this thought in mind, Hermione followed Draco down the hole.

**Okay tell me what you think. Reviews are great good or bad. It's a silly story, but hopefully entertaining. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Hermione in Wonderland: Revisited**

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters

**A Few Choice Bumps**

Hermione had half expected that going down the hole was going to be a breeze, sort of like the cartoon she remembered as a child, kind of falling softly while odds and ends floated around her. Luck, however, was not on her side. The fall down the hole was rather disgusting. It was muddy and slimy and smelled like rabbits had used it for a bathroom.

'This is not,' she thought to herself, 'going to be the romantic adventure I deserve.' Hermione came to the conclusion that she was having a lucid dream. Nothing else could explain the mini-Draco she was following. Well, nothing except a potion experiment gone horribly awry. That was always a possibility, and strangely a more satisfying thought than her dream theory.

"It most certainly doesn't feel like a dream," she muttered as her bottom hit a rather large, pointy rock. The slide down the hole seemed to last forever, and Hermione's backside was starting to go numb when she abruptly tumbled out of the hole and landed on something soft and squirmy.

"Get off me, you filthy Mudblood!"

Hermione shot up and away from the soft, moving thing. Darn, she'd landed on mini-Draco, ruining her element of surprise. No, wait... Draco wasn't so mini anymore. Now he was more like life-sized Draco. While he was still wearing his dark hooded cape, he seemed to have lost the Death Eater's mask and was now watching her with his sharp, silver eyes.

"I don't understand, you were little, and now you're big..." Hermione trailed off as Draco started walking towards her, never removing his eyes from her face.

"I have no idea what you are talking about, girl. I have always been this size, whereas you seem to have shrunk since I passed you in the field. Who are you and why are you following me? If you've come from the Duchess it's no use; the order comes from the Great Lord and I can do nothing about it."

"Who am I?" Hermione couldn't understand why he didn't recognize her. "Wait, don't tell me..." She started examining her body. "Not only did I shrink, I've changed appearance as well."

"Well, if you have, I'm sorry for you. No one should have to deal with hair that frizzled. They make potions for that, you know."

Hermione glanced back from the puddle she had been using as a mirror. "I think you've gone completely off your rocker, Draco Malfoy. I look exactly as I did when I left my room this morning. True, I'm a bit dirty, and my uniform is a bit worse for wear, but nothing to make me unrecognizable."

"Draco Malfoy? Who do you think I am, girl? Some boy you pine over in your adolescent girl way?"

Hermione was a bit thrown off by this strange Draco's way of phrasing things, however she really wanted to figure out what exactly was going on. "Well, if you're not Draco Malfoy, who are you?" she questioned. "Because you certainly look like him."

"My name is none of your concern. And while I could certainly understand why you would pine for this Draco Malfoy, if he does indeed look like me, as I am the most dashing figure I know of, I don't know what he would see in someone quite as plain and stupid as you."

"Why you little slimeball, not only do you look like Malfoy, you sound like him as well." Hermione stopped her tirade as a thought occurred to her. "If you aren't Malfoy, why did you call me Mudblood?"

"Why indeed," Draco sneered, "Well, you are, aren't you? Are you not from above? Made from earth and all that stuff? From mud you were raised and from mud you will return if you do not remove your body from my presence this instant." Draco glanced at his watch in horror, "Oh my, I'm late; the Great Lord will have my head." Off he hopped without giving Hermione a second glance.

Having no other choice, Hermione set off to follow Draco in the hopes that he could at least point the way up.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hermione in Wonderland: Revisited**

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters

**The Round Weasleys**

Hermione rushed down the path Draco had hopped down. 'I've got to catch him. People will be worried about me.' Her mind was a whirl with all the recent events. Strangely, all thoughts of this being a dream had vanished with her encounter of the bouncy Draco look alike.

'He looked like Malfoy, he acted like Malfoy, he mostly spoke like him as well,' she thought, remembering how rude he had been. 'However, his basic demeanor seemed different, more refined somehow.' Hermione was stumped by this strange turn of events. She was so caught up in these thoughts that she didn't notice the pair of round Weasleys standing on the path until she hit one so hard that she bounced back and hit her head on a tree.

"Ouch! Hey, watch where you're going!' she exclaimed.

"Watch where we're going?" queried George.

"We weren't going anywhere," continued Fred

"George! Fred!" Hermione was thrilled to see the two friendly faces.

"Who and who?" they asked in unison.

'Oh no!' Hermione thought, 'Not again!'

"Who are you, little running thing?" George asked, peering closely at Hermione's face.

"Yes, and what are these?" Fred asked, poking at her chest. "Look, brother, its stomach is on its chest. Isn't it funny looking?"

"Why, brother, I believe you're right! However, it is not polite to make fun of other's defects," George replied.

Hermione growled in frustration, folding her arms across her chest to stop anymore poking. "And just who are you two? Tweedledum and Tweedlestupid?"

The boys glanced at each other. "Such odd names, brother. Do we know any of these tweedlebeings?" Fred asked.

"I don't believe so, brother, but if they look like us they are lucky beings, are they not?"

"I don't believe this," Hermione fumed. "Why is everyone here so full of themselves?"

"And who better to be full of, may I ask?" questioned George.

"Indeed, would it be better to be full of you?" Fred replied.

Hermione sighed. "Okay, I get it. So if you aren't George and Fred, who are you?"

"Oh my, what a cheeky little lass to ask such a question." Fred looked shocked.

"Dear, I don't know where you are from, but only a clod without manners would ask somebody for their name," George informed her.

"Why? What is wrong with asking people their names? I think it is rude to call someone 'hey you'." Hermione was getting more and more exasperated by the minute.

"Better being called 'hey you' than late for dinner," Fred chirped.

"Indeed it is, brother. I couldn't have said it better myself."

Fred's face darkened as he looked directly into Hermione's eyes. "It would be best if you would remember the power of names, little thing."

"Really," Hermione huffed. "I realize names have power, but you need more than a name to do anything bad to someone, or everyone in the Wizarding World would be dead by now."

"The Wizarding World." The statement was little more than a sigh and Hermione couldn't figure out which brother said it. She had little time to dwell on it, as the brothers picked that moment to roll off into the forest, leaving her standing alone on the path.

"This place is certainly odd," Hermione muttered as she started down the path again. "I wonder who I'll run into next."


	4. Chapter 4

**Hermione in Wonderland: Revisited**

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or the basic plot line. Just some choice odd phrases.

**Of Flobberworms and Lords**

Hermione had no idea what to make of her encounter with the twins. It was surreal at best and more closely resembled pointless. She didn't know where they had run off to, and really wasn't mentally capable of handling another conversation with them. Thus she found herself again persuing Draco.

"At least Draco made some sort of sense when I was talking to him," she muttered as she continued along the path.

The encounter with the twins had left Hermione far behind Draco and she wasn't sure where to find him.

'I only hope the path doesn't branch off anywhere,' she thought, walking briskly along.

Hermione tried to keep her mind on the task at hand, but kept being distracted by the strange sights surrounding her. The further into the forest she got, the less like a forest it looked. In fact, she wasn't even certain that trees surrounded her anymore. She stopped to examine a large plant next to her, and realized everything appeared to be flowers. Acutally, the lands didn't even look wild like the forest anymore. She seemed to be walking through a large flower garden, and the trees appeared to be giant flowers off all varieties.

"I don't know why I'm surprised," she stated aloud. "I had obviously shrunk when I fell down the hole." Still, she felt much smaller now than the rabbit size Draco had been when she saw him running through the field.

She kept walking, keeping her eyes open for other paths that Draco may have turned down at some point. Abruptly the path widened into a large clearing. On one side was a small hut, and on the other a pen. The pen appeared to contain a large number of absurdly large Flobberworms.

"Gross," Hermione muttered.

"Gross?" growled a familiar voice. "I think not. What do you think, my dear?"

"Oh no, they are the most wonderful things. Why, with a slice of bread and some butter you could have no better supper!" replied an equally familiar feminine voice.

Hermione slowly turned around, knowing what she would see, but hoping she was wrong. Nope, she wasn't. Standing just outside of the hut was Hagrid and Madame Maxime.

'Of course,' she thought. 'The walrus and the carpenter; this is back to being very dream like."

Her thoughts were interrupted by a large rock that picked this moment to smack her on the side of the head.

"Ow!" Hermione looked around, trying to figure out where the rock had come from.

"Oh my," twittered Madame Maxime, "it appears someone isn't very happy with you, dear."

"Did you see who threw that?" Hermione questioned.

"Oh, it doesn't really matter," Hagrid growled. "I am sure they are long gone by now. Would you like some tea and cookies?"

"Who made the cookies?" Hermione asked, glancing apprehensively at the plate that appeared in Hagrid's large hands.

"Why I did, of course," huffed Madame Maxime. "They are the best Flobberworm cookies in the land. Even the Great Lord himself has said so."

"Uhm, I'll pass. I ... uh… just ate."

"Oh of course, I understand, us women must watch our figures after all." Madame Maxime batted her large eyelashes.

Hermione decided that now was a good time to change the subject. "Have either of you seen a boy run through here?" she asked the couple.

"A boy running." Hagrid appeared to be thinking. "No, can't say that I have. Have you, dear?" he asked Madame Maxime, who appeared to be admiring herself in a barrel of rainwater.

"What? Oh, no, dear, no running boys today," she replied.

"Odd," Hermione muttered. "I didn't see any place he could have turned off on the path."

"No, no running boys," Hagrid interrupted. "There was, however, a bouncing boy earlier. Do you remember him darling? He seemed familiar. Do we know who he is?"

"Oh, you mean the Great Lord's page." Madame Maxime appeared flustered. "Of course we know him. He was by to announce the Duke's trial. Such a sweet boy. So adorable, I wonder why he hasn't married. I know of a few young girls who would love to sink their... oh, uhm... hands into him."

"That's him," Hermione exclaimed. "That's the boy I'm following."

"Oh no, dear." Madame Maxime exclaimed. "Nice young ladies don't follow boys. We wait for them to come to us. It's the only way for us to keep the upper hand."

"No, you don't understand," Hermione explained. "I'm not interested in him like that. I need his help to return to the Wizarding World."

Madame Maxime gasped and looked at Hagrid. "Did you hear what she said? The Wizarding World!"

"I heard, dear, don't worry, I will take care of this." Hagrid gently patted the large woman's shoulder. "Listen, girl, we don't want any trouble here. I think it would be best if you just moved on."

"I don't want to cause trouble, I just want to go home!" Hermione was near tears. The trials of the day were starting to get to her.

Madame Maxime stepped forward and said, "Poor child, you just couldn't know, but we can't help you here. The only one who could be any help is the Great Lord. But child, don't try it. He is a mighty force, and doesn't take requests lightly."

"I don't care." Hermione sniffled. "I will do whatever I have to. Where can I find this Great Lord?"

Hagrid looked around, frightened, as the wind picked up and started rustling the leaves of the giant flowers. "We've said too much as it is, leave my clearing now." Grabbing Madame Maxime by the hand, he pulled her into the hut.

Hermione watched them leave, still sniffling.

"LEAVE NOW!" boomed a voice from the huts open window, and Hermione started running back down the path.

**My goal this chapter is to receive a 1 word review from each reader. If this happens I get to have chinese dumplings. So please review. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Hermione in Wonderland**

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, I just play with them once in a while.

**Rest for the Weary**

After a while, Hermione slowed her pace to a brisk walk. Her heavy breathing echoed through the forest. The garden had ended and she was walking through a forest again. However, instead of the tall proud trees she remembered from before gnarled black trees now surrounded her. It was getting darker and darker as she walked further into the forest of deformed trees. Hermione was getting nervous about the lack of sunlight through the trees when she realized that the sun was setting.

'Of course,' she surmised, 'the sun even sets in Crazy Land."

Hermione had been on the move all day and it was starting to take its toll on her. She needed to find some place to rest and soon. However, she wasn't going to stop in the middle of this forest; there could be all sorts of horrible things waiting for her to stop moving long enough for them to grab her. So she decided to keep going until she found a safer place to rest. As she walked, she allowed her mind to examine her situation more closely.

'According to Hagrid, I need to find this Great Lord. They both seemed slightly frightened by the thought of asking him for anything. Since everyone I've ran into has been the splitting image of someone I know, it stands to reason that this Great Lord will be Voldemort.' Hermione couldn't think of anyone scarier than that. Well, other than Neville standing in front of a cauldron, but she doubted that would be the case here.

Hermione slowed down to a stop as she felt that familiar tingle on the back of her neck, the tingle that said someone was watching her. She looked around her, wondering what surprise was coming next, but saw nothing. She turned back towards the path and jumped at the smile floating in front of her. There was nothing else, just a smile. 'This,' she thought irrelevantly, 'must be what they mean by wearing nothing but a smile.' Hermione chuckled. Of course, it was the Cheshire cat. She wondered what he would look like and secretly hoped it was Crookshanks. Unfortunately, she wasn't going to find out at this particular time, as the smile disappeared and nothing else reappeared.

Hermione shrugged to herself and resumed walking. After she had walked for what felt like a lifetime, she passed a clearing she almost missed. She slowly backed up and looked closer. The clearing appeared to have some sort of obscurity spell on it, as it was obviously there and obviously not there at the same time. Deciding the best way to break the spell was to physically pierce it, she started down the small trail into the clearing. As she entered the clearing, she encountered a small homey looking cottage, complete with a white picket fence and smoke coming out of the chimney.

'Well, if whoever is here is friendly, they might give me a place to rest for the night,' she thought as she walked up to the front door. 'I'll just have to make it a point to not mention the Wizarding World.' Hermione was nothing if not a fast learner.

She knocked on the door and jumped back as it swung open.

"Hello?" she called as she stepped through the doorway. "Is there anyone around?"

No one answered, so Hermione continued into the home. It was a small cottage and only had three rooms all together. There was the kitchen, a sitting room with a fireplace, and a bedroom.

'Well, if they didn't want people to come in, they should have shut the door tighter,' she decided. After careful consideration, she entered the sitting room to rest until the homeowner returned. There was a cheerful fire dancing away in the fireplace, so Hermione sat on the couch directly in front of it. The couch was soft and cozy and the fire was warm so it didn't take long for her to fall asleep. She was awoken some time later by a familiar voice mumbling agitatedly in the hall.

"Oh my, so late, the trial can't start until I'm there. What am I going to do? What am I going to do? The Great Lord will have my head instead of the Duke's." Hermione jumped up as Draco entered the sitting room.

"What are you doing in my home, girl?" Draco looked upset and harried but not exactly angry. "Oh it doesn't matter, run to the other room and fetch me my gloves."

Hermione was startled by his lack of ire and did what she was told without thinking twice.

"The gloves, where are the gloves?" she muttered, glancing around the small bedroom. She saw a pair of white gloves sitting on the bedside table and decided that must be what he was looking for. She grabbed the gloves and headed back into the sitting room, where she found Draco donning a top hat.

"About time, girl, I must hurry!" Draco exclaimed, grabbing the gloves and heading towards the front door.

"Wait, where are you going? I need to find the Great Lord. Can you tell me where he is?" Hermione's questions echoed through the empty house; Draco was already bounding down the path, leaving Hermione alone in his cottage.

'Well, I suppose I should follow.' Hermione started towards the front door but was stopped by the sound of her stomach growling. 'But it can't hurt to see if he has any food. After all, I did fetch his gloves for him, it's the least he can do!'


End file.
